May 20, 2013
Here we go again.
Sorry, I just have to set something straight.
I have never in my life said "I turned down a role in Downton Abbey and Game Of Thrones."
Whilst doing press for Great Expectations, I was asked if I ever watched Downton and I said that, ashamedly, I did not watch anything. They were shocked as if to say "But you live in London!" and, by way of apology almost, I said sorry but all I know of it is what I read in what must have been the first script.
She asked if I had been offered a role and I said yes. And then she named a particular character and I said I did not know and she said, an American, and I said possiblyÖ and she said, Elizabeth McGovernís character and inside I said Oh No! I know Elizabeth and did not wish in any way for it to be a comment about anything least of all a judgment.
At the time it was not for me and that was that.
Upon reading the subject in the article of which much was made, as I had feared, I sent both Elizabeth and Mr Fellows a heartfelt apology. I had met the latter on a couple of occasions, including once more recently, when he shook his finger at me and quite rightly implied - "see what you missed."
Same thing with Game of Thrones. A journalist asked me outright - perhaps had heard, no idea, and I had answered in the affirmative. Should I have lied?
And here again, a round table discussion for The Fall at which somebody brought it up again and I said that I did not think it was fair to talk aboutÖ and they persisted, and I tried to contribute levity to a situation that never ends well.
If I had said I would not discuss it, in the article it would still headline with the forged quote, and proceed to imply that I became snippy, as they like to say in the UK, or maybe that I tossed my glossy mane in contempt or what the fuck ever - the point being, there was no way out except to attempt to imply "silly me, yes my daughter thinks I'm nuts" because, as with every other teenager the world over, she is obsessed with Games Of Thrones.
They asked why I had said "no" and I said, in an effort to end it once and for all, that it was due to scheduling - all of this was back when the thought of anything serial was giving me heart palpitations. And then to add more lightness to what was now becoming uncomfortable, as I realized I was indeed talking about the thing I said I didn't want to discuss, I made a joke about 'well obviously, if Scorsese offered me a part - fuck the schedule, I'd move in with him' kind of thing.
I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE!!!!! A whole lot of fabulous actors are working their asses off on great shows and do not need to hear about who said no to the f-ing parts.
If you are a journalist and ask me about this subject matter, I will stare at you with a smile on my face until you change the subject and, after the interview, my publicist will call you and kindly mention that if you mention that I stared at you while you attempted to stir shit, I will never do an interview for your magazine or newspaper again. You may not give a shit but I do.
August 14, 2012
I have been completely selfish. I am so sorry!
Thank you to every last everybody who was involved in the birthday videos.
What a generous gift and so appreciated. Thank you.
and Video 2
August 13, 2012
Enough is Enough is Enough
Earlier this year, I did an interview with Out Magazine to promote a film. During the course of the interview, I grew increasingly fond of the interviewer and we settled into a very comfortable camaraderie. He seemed to be a lovely, gentle, and intelligent man genuinely interested in the life experiences of another human being. Fortunately, it was an accurate, albeit risky, character assessment.
I chose during that interview to discuss the fact that, earlier in my life, I had been in relationship with a woman. It was the first time I revealed this fact in a public forum, and I chose to do so for two reasons. One was that a woman whom I was in relationship with had died a few months beforehand and I felt, in the context of our conversation, it was safe and appropriate to bring it up. Many years beforehand, and well beyond our time together, this woman had called me out of the blue at the height of my television fame to say that she had been offered $60,000 by a tabloid to provide a picture of us together. At the time, for various reasons, not including shame, I did not want that information in the public domain and despite the fact that she was struggling to pay her rent, I asked her not to sell our story. She took what at the time I considered to be the high road. To this day I regret asking her to do that. That 60 grand would have had a greater positive effect on her life than a negative effect on mine. By discussing our relationship in Out, I felt like I was honoring her memory in some way simply by admitting its existence.
The context of our discussion within the interview was 'choice', and I was sharing how, unlike those who identify themselves as being gay, I could not speak from experience to the fear and shame that sometimes accompanies that realization, because I have always been clear that I am not. During the interview, I do not believe that I had revealed the fact that she had recently died, but in a subsequent interview with another magazine, when asked why I had suddenly chosen to discuss this area of my personal life, I gave that as the predominant reason why but was keen to move on because I really did not want this to become the new topic of conversation about my life. Itís enough that a good proportion of reporters choose to mention the unfathomably boring fact that I was voted most likely to be arrested in high school or the worryingly inaccurate detail that my ex-partner Mark made his fortune in wheel clamping. But for some reason, lets call him Interviewer #2, decided that instead of reporting this legitimate and honest reason to reveal an aspect of my past, he would use the ironically correct impression that I had liked the interviewer of Out Magazine more than him as a point of humor or false discord, itís hard to tell which.
So imagine my dismay/horror/disgust to discover that after an interview with the London Sunday Times, interviewer #3 turned my brief response to yes, the same question, as motivation to turn the entire article into a lesbian impregnated specimen of veritable tabloid journalism. I donít think Iíve ever used the word "fluid" in my life to describe my sexuality, nor would I be so stupid or selfish to count my four days with female friends over seven weeks of family holiday as my favorite part. Do I even need to mention that over my dead body would I refer to myself as a "property wheeler dealer"? I could go on and on. It boggles my mind that this cutting and pasting schlock can be considered legitimate journalism, and by not just an associate editor but someone who fancies herself a champion of women, or should that be the other way round. This article is a perfect example of why publicists do ask for copy approval - not to cover their own lies but to extract the lies and insinuations whipped up by the journalist. Iím not sure if Iíve ever read such a mean spirited interview "about" me, although it fortunately and fabulously revealed more about the spitefulness of #3 than anything at all about its apparent subject. But I digress. A bit. Imagine as well, if you will, that I was actually considering asking this woman who was pretending at the time to be friendly, if she would consider finding a way to work into the article that Mark and I had been separated for some time. Fortunately in retrospect, I did not, so when for some very strange reason, she asked if I was still with my partner, I was justifiably thrown. Had I said something that implied this? Had I said it out loud even without realizing it? Had my publicist said something? #3 so cleverly picked up on all this confusion and I have to say those pauses and ellipses may be the only verbatim detail of the entire article. Bravo.
But this post was not intended to reveal my opinions about horrible people in pseudo-powerful positions but to shed light on an intention to share once, and once only, the fact that a seemingly straight-laced almost middle aged woman with three children can be open and shame-free about her life and love experiences and itís okay. But what Iíve learned from this is that maybe itís not. Itís not possible to be honest through the siphon of another. It gets abused and misconstrued and silly me.
July 6, 2012
Okay so I am doing what I said I would never do which is set up social network sites. And I am starting by announcing that I will be doing another thing I said I would never do which is a convention. But what the hell itís ten years since XF ended and why not commemorate?
These sites are mostly to get rid of imposters who have apparently been communicating with unsuspecting friends for some time now-weird! - and will only be for promoting charities and upcoming events and will be handled by my publicists.
Only on the VERY rare occasion will I tweet or comment myself and hopefully those close to me will slap me across the face for doing so.
August 31, 2011
So, every day for a week after the event in L.A. on July 30, I was going to post something because I was so strongly moved by everyone who turned up - and aside from being such a well produced event, it was such a lovely atmosphere all around - but then, as most things do, as you will have learned if you were present on that day, it slipped my mind.
I know that Chris and David felt the same way, both about my mind and the event and both remarked to me afterwards Ďletís do it again!í which we will maybe every couple of years.
I donít know quite what it was. Was it the intimacy? Or that it was a tight run ship of like-minded smiling people getting a long awaited itch scratched? Or the fact that David did not come prepared which set the tone for a free fall of off-the-cuff silliness? Or was it simply my brilliant questions and seemingly bottomless sense of humor? Hard to say. BUT!!, I had a blast and I thank everyone who spent a penny more than they should have to be present for our truly wonderful evening.
Oh and I hear thru the grapevine that there were some truly unhappy people at the event and while I'd rather not get involved in the emotional aspects of it all, perhaps someone can lead a productive compassionate forum on what they might have liked to see done differently so that perchance all of us can learn how to make it better next time.
From my standpoint, the event ran quite smoothly, so Iím thinking perhaps negative experiences were due to exactly that reason and I am therefore truly sorry that in protecting me, others were not. May this be the beginning of a proactive and long living relationship.
And BTW, Michelle of SA-YES cried buckets when we told her how much you guys raised that day. Thank you from the bottoms of both of our buckets,
Gillian (the one in the red shirt)
May 17, 2011
I wasnít actually thinking I would write write. I have a very strange and bumpy relationship with my laptop. But to the point.
The other day, we had an OTSK board meeting in London and one of the things we discussed is a name change. If you visit the site you will read the reasons behind it which are many and deeply considered. The new name will be SA-YES South African Youth Education for Sustainability. Which is exactly what it is and, in part, what I wanted to talk about here.
One is that the OTSK program is doing extremely well and I am very very proud of what Michelle and the mentors and mentees have been up to on the ground in Capetown and I am very excited for the future of the program overall.
Statistically, the success rate is remarkable. There are youths in university, college, and in employment who would not be where they are, were it not for OTSK. Anyone out there who has contributed time or money to this charity should be very pleased with yourself and your direct positive influence on otherís lives.
The second thing is that this time now is crucial. There is a good chance that in a year or two, with potential sponsoring and funding coming in, the program will be self-sustainable. But in these early days it is really important that we keep our head above water and cover the running costs as well as - and just as importantly - grow. There are many many youths waiting in the wings to be a part of the program but it is just not financially feasible to take them on with the small income the charity is sustaining itself on now.
In the short term, I am going to auction another set of the Dave Wise photos which Dave himself had released online after the magazine ran. He gave me permission a while ago to print them up for auction.
In the upcoming months, I have hopes of convincing Universal to offer Johnny English 2 premiere tickets so that they can be auctioned off. I had previously promised the proceeds of the US tickets to go to ANSA but the London, Sydney and Hong Kong tickets should be auctionable for OTSK in the not too distant future. The film is very funny by the way. I have seen only a teeny bit but I think everyone will happily pee their pants.
I am also going to email my friends and ask that they consider making monthly donations of 10£ towards OTSK. I have not done this before but itís time. We only have funds in the charityís account to last until August so itís push time. If any of you have relatives you havenít bugged or employers who could spare some change, give them a little nudge to help us get over the hump into next year.
Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed to our growth so far. It really really is making a difference.
Oh and donít forget to bid on the NF Doodle Day Doodles!! David did one and Simon Pegg drew Paul and thereís some GLEE action in there.
February 5, 2011
February 5, 2011
Okay, so Iím in Los Angeles and the sun is shining which is a far cry from London weather and I have to say Iím a little gun shy about writing here for you guys because as you know it is no longer just between me and you. Every time I write something it ends up in an article as if Iím purposefully writing public commentary and just pisses me off. Eventually Iíll get over it and settle into the new Wikileak world but right now Iím having growing pains.
What can I say? I miss my boys. I just skyped with them and Oscar was making jam filled muffins and Felix was throwing a car against the wall and the internet is so bad where Iím staying that it kept cutting out and they got progressively frustrated and all I could see were blurs of screeching color flash across the screen and then freeze into pixels and die. Call again, ďMummy!Ē Pixels, die. Call again, ďLookĒ! Pixels, die. Etc Etc. For an hour. Iím exhausted and itís 9am.
Any Human Heart is airing here in the states on Sunday the 13th of Feb - I think Iím supposed to tell you guys those things. Donít think thereís much publicity around it cause they spent it all on Downton Abbey. Now thereís something for people online - ďGillian Anderson was complaining recently on her blog...Ē. But so tell a friend. That itís on. And thereís a lot of sex in it. Not involving me. But the cast is fantastic and the world is going to fall in love with Hayley Atwell.
What else? Oh the Fiasco magazines. I guess one or two of you have bought them online and received torn up copies. Please donít send nasty emails to the editor. Theyíre a small company and doing their best to get the stuff out there for little to no profit. Iím going to try to get some of them on the LA newsstands any day now and they should be a bit cheaper if you guys in LA start hounding your local street vendors near the Beverly Hills West Hollywood Brentwood areas. Demand and supply.
And the signed photos from the shoot will be up for auction soonish to raise funds for the AJS teachers' block. Very excited for them. By the way thank you again to Sandi Hicks and all you Australian supporters who have raised the bulk of AJSís expenses on this build. You guys are so generous with your time and effort and such proactive fundraisers!
Iím addicted to hemp seeds.
I think thatís it for now, or I should say for the next six months. No! Thatís terrible. I donít mean to really itís just, LIFE!
July 6, 2010
I had been telling myself for months to write to you guys and I finally did a nice couple of- in the moment- paragraphs while the boys were playing in the garden and my computer crashed, or I should say it ran out of battery because I kept putting off going upstairs to get the cord and when I got it going again my lovely paragraphs were lost.
But I have to say I still struggle with what to say. Every time I decide to share about anything in my life it seems too vague that there's no point really or if I get specific then I feel like a twat because I feel like I have so much and how dare I share about my fortunate existence and then I think, well then share something profound but I donít have anything profound to say or any words of wisdom or any recipes or hints on how to set a table.
I could recommend books that I am half way through or music I have downloaded but not really listened to but it all just feels hypocritical. I have nothing to say about anything.
So here's some vagueness; I just did Wallis Simpson for a Channel 4 adaptation of William Boydís Any Human Heart, lots of fun working with my friend Tom Hollander and the unimaginably sweet Mathew Macfadyen.
And upcoming three or four things that I can't speak about cause the contracts have not been finalized and therefore not announced.
And, oh yes, Moby Dick which I did ADR for a couple of weeks ago and which looks beautifully shot and possibly great but, again, no idea when it will be aired and where.
And then the sad news that I have had to let go of Gellhorn because HBO is doing the exact story with Nicole and Clive Owen. But these things happen and I was taking too long getting the script right and it's my own damned fault.
And what else? The boys are great. Oscar talking a mile a minute and very upset when he's not understood. Felix is a thug. Rugby is on the horizon I think. They adore each other which is a blessing. Trying to decide whether to expose them both to chicken pox at the same time as we know a little girl who has it (is chicken pox an 'it' or a 'them' ?) or if it's just bad timing. Is there ever good timing for it/them?
Ok, well Iíll go onto all the half books then:
Shantaram / The Great Railway Bazaar / A Fine Balance / Raising Boys / Reinventing The Body Resurrecting The Soul / Fugitive Pieces.
Oh and I actually finished the entertaining and somewhat terrifying The Game Change - different title In England which I forget* - about the run up to the last US elections.
Music? I Am Kloot / The Eels / The Doves / Blind Pilot / Fight Like Apes / Bat for Lashes / Purcell Retrospect Trio / Isabelle Faust / Melnikov doing Beethoven sonatas / Soundtrack to Bright Star / Soundtrack to No One Knows About Persian Cats - oh and itís movie which leads me to the movie The Father Of My Children and the well lauded A Prophet and yet another French film Lourdes And Exit Through The Gift Shop. And I think thatís it for me now.
I hope you are all, every one of you, happy and doing what you want to be doing in your life. Really.
*Race of a Lifetime
January 8, 2010
Happy New Year!
So I keep getting emails from people discussing my facebook pages. Apparently, old school friends have been communicating with me for years thinking it's me. I want everyone to know that I do not have a facebook page and that everyone that is up there is an impostor.
NOTE: As mentioned on this web site last October, Gillian is NOT on Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, nor any other social network. When she wants to communicate with her fans, she does so exclusively through this web site. As a general rule, if you see that a celebrity has an official web site that provides no link or information pertaining to MySpace/Facebook etc. pages, it more than likely means that an impostor owns those pages.
November 17, 2009
Dear everybody -
I am sitting in the BA Lounge at LAX after a very productive and very short trip to LA. Got to see friends and take meetings and most of all raise a little something for charity - thank you everybody who showed up for that by the way - thank you for showing up and for donating and for buying and for everything related to anything that raises support and most importantly funds for the charities that I support.
I don't know how many of you know this but ANSA is just starting an auction and there are a few well signed XF items up for grabs but also they are in basic need of financial support right now to meet their fiscal responsibilities and so anything you can give would be awesome and go to such a good cause.
So I miss my boys. Five nights is about the limit of what I can do without them and I just can't stand it. On the phone Oscar says ĎHello My Mommyí and I just want to eat him up. Eyelashes, toenails, the whole lot. And then there's Felix, blond hair, blue eyes, a bulldozer with a wicked sense of humor even at one. Enough!
Anyhoo so here is LAX and on my way to the welcome drizzle of London before the welcome sunshine of somewhere else and time just flies and flies and I wish I could tell you what I'm doing next but I can't and Oh there was Moby Dick which was so much fun and such a great group of people not least of which was the director Michael Barker who is an angel of a man and Ethan (Hawke) and Charlie (Cox) and then William (Hurt) and oh my Donald Sutherland who I would give my left anything to properly work with again. It was blessed. Well, and cursed but I won't go into that.
And and what else can I say without saying anything at all...
Oh everybody has to see the movie Fish Tank when it comes out.
I wish I could say more but you know this isn't a blog.
That's all for this...year?