December 21, 2000
Jon: Hey, everybody, welcome back to the show. Tonight's guest stars as Scully on The X-Files. And starting Friday, you can see her in the new film "House of Mirth."
[Clip from HOM]
Lily: How nice of you to come to my rescue.
Selden: And what form should my rescue take?
Lily: Oh, almost any.
Selden: Shall we go for a cup of tea?
Lily: I'm dying for a cup of tea, but isn't there a quieter place?
Selden: I live near here.
Lily: At the Benedict still?
Selden: Yes, on the top floor.
Lily: Is it cool up there?
Selden: Come up and see.
Lily: I'll take the risk.
Jon: Please welcome Gillian Anderson. Come on! (Cheers and applause as Gillian enters wearing a black hooded sweater, black skirt, and black knee-length boots) Come here! Where have you been? Where you been?
Gillian: Hi! Hi!
Jon: How are you doing? Nice to see you.
Gillian: Good to see you. (Cheers and applause) Hi!!
Jon: How is ya?
Gillian: I'm good. How are you? It's good to see you.
Jon: I'm good. I've got two words for you: Oscar speech.
Gillian: Oh, stop. You're married! Let's get off that subject. You're married! You haven't been married since I've seen you last.
Jon: That is a good point. Well, I got married. It's funny...
Gillian: Two words for you: You're married!
Jon: I am married, but here's the thing: When the state forces you to do that because here's the thing... You can't take a 14-year-old over state lines without doing that.
Gillian: (laughs) Can I tell you how funny that curry thing is?
Jon: That was funny.
Gillian: That curry thing was so hysterical. Wasn't that funny?
Jon: Oh wait-
Gillian: Is that not, is that airing on another night? The curry thing that I saw the other night was so funny.
Jon: Yes, yes, yes.
Gillian: That was... It's so fresh in my memory because it was just brilliant. I've been laughing about it ever since.
Jon: What did you think of the piece actually that you saw on tonight's show?
Gillian: On tonight's show? It wasn't as good, but you know, you can't be...
Jon: It had no curry in it!
Gillian: It had no curry in it. I'm a big fan of curry.
Jon: Do you really like the curry?
Gillian: Oh, yeah. See these uh... [gestures to arm]
Jon: Have you been able to stop? How's your kid doing?
Gillian: My kid is doing great.
Jon: She's a smarty.
Gillian: She's a smarty. She's six now.
Jon: Do you remember what she said to me the first time she met me? I had not met her and she walked up to me and said, "You're a dork." You remember that?
Gillian: Yeah, I do remember that.
Jon: She was very smart.
Gillian: She was right! She's pretty good at reading people. Did she really used the word dork? She couldn't have used the word dork.
Jon: You know what she said actually? Jack ass. She was like five at the time. She's like a sailor. And then she broke a Budweiser bottle and just kept doing this to me, "Come on, Stuart, you want a piece?!"
Gillian: (laughs) Yeah, that sounds like my daughter.
Jon: How is The X-Files going? You got this new guy...
Gillian: Have you um...
Jon: Yeah, I've been watching. By the way, the curry episode, hilarious. I like that guy though.
Gillian: Did you see the curry slug episode?
Jon: Yes, I did.
Gillian: Curry flavored slug from Mars.
Jon: What happened to David? Is he with aliens now?
Jon: He didn't have curry. I saw the episode where they took his face up like this [stretches out face] and then he went "Scully!!"
Gillian: Yeah. Did you know that introduced me as Scully, you said, "We've got Scully from The X-Files"? Did you forget my name or did you just... what?
Jon: Your name is... Are you telling me you're an actress? I though your name was Scully, you work for the FBI! I thought that House of Mirth thing was just an undercover thing because you had to catch a criminal in the 1800's. Am I wrong?
Gillian: (laughs) That was The X-Files, you're right.
Jon: How did you get to do this Edith Wharton thing? It looked like a fun thing.
Gillian: How did I uh.. Yeah, well... I wouldn't call it... I wouldn't call it fun.
Jon: It looked like you were about to go up and bang Eric Stoltz! That looked like fun. He was giving you the whole... "Come up to my room!" "Is it cool?" I like that. You're doing it.
Gillian: I see on Oscar coming for you.
Jon: I'm telling you, I hear great things. This film has really great reviews and everybody's talking about your performances.
Gillian: People are... Yeah, it's been... We've been... Yeah.
Jon: How do you find the time? You're doing The X-Files all year. How long did this one take to shoot?
Gillian: Just a couple months.
Jon: Where did you guys do it?
Gillian: In Scotland.
Jon: You're kidding me!
Jon: What did you think of Scotland?
Gillian: I liked it!
Jon: That's where my people are from. Stewart.
Gillian: Really? Scotland's good!
Jon: House of Stewart. We're from the Scotland Jews that live in the south of Scotland.
Gillian: Do you have a umm... I keep wanting to say tartan, or tarter... Do you have a tartan?
Gillian: What color is it?
Gillian: What's the right word?
Jon: What's a tartan?
Gillian: I don't know.
Jon: well, you were only there for two months. You can't be expected to learn their language...
Gillian: (laughs) No, no... What's the thing when you get a scarf or the kilt, the thing, the pattern? [audience says "Plaid!"] Plaid? Kilt? No, wait a minute.
Jon: Hold on a second. (to audience) We'll [BLEEP]ing fight any one of you. Don't yell at us. I'll take care of this, Gillian.
Gillian: No, but when you have a certain like the... I think somebody...
Jon: It's coat of arms. You mean coat of arms?
Gillian: No. Your.. plaid... (audience now yells "Tartan!") Your... tartan? I said tartan!!
Gillian: I SAID TARTAN!! (Cheers and applause) Tartan! The word came out of my skull somewhere, and it happened to be right! (smacks Jon)
Jon: I knew that.
Gillian: Tartan, what's your tartan?
Jon: It's made of haggis. I have a tartan made of haggis, which by the way, never wear it where the chipmunks are. Boy, they run... I'm not making any sense. But here's the thing...
Gillian: You're not.
Jon: I'm damn proud of you, you know, because you and I started together. Like a year ago. (Laughter) you were actually already a star, but I was starting. And it was in a little movie called "Playing by Heart." Let me tell you something, that launched me in Belgium.
Gillian: Is that right? Do you have huge fans in Belgium?
Jon: No. Did that even run in the United States, do you know?
Gillian: Yes, I think it did.
Jon: You think it did?
Gillian: Yes, I think it did.
Jon: Did anybody see it? (Cheers and applause)
Gillian: I think a few people have come up to me and said that they've seen it. Yes, they did, and they say, "You know, that Jon, he's a good actor."
Jon: You know what else they say, "He'll never be able to go out now without wearing a tartan. He'll have to disguise himself." All right, when's this thing... What's opening up on Friday, the movie?
Gillian: Yeah, the movie. That's coming out on December 22nd.
Jon: You met the Duchess of York?
Gillian: Yes. How much time do we have? This is a long story.
Jon: This was over four minutes ago. They're not even running the cameras anymore. There's no film in the cameras. Just tell me quickly the Duchess of York.
Gillian: It was just a thing, I did this auction... I can remember it, but I hate talking when I know... You know when you do an interview with a reporter and they're not recording, they're just writing and so all they're doing...
Jon: Did you just call me a reporter?
Gillian: No I didn't, but...
Jon: Yeah, did you.
Gillian: No no no, but when you're doing an interview with a reporter and they're sitting there and they're writing but they don't have a tape recorder and you're talking... You're talking and you feel like you're in the middle of saying something really important but they're not writing?
Jon: I'm sorry. What? ( Laughter )
Gillian: They're not wr- [laughs] It's the same thing.
Jon: Gillian Anderson! The House of Mirth opens up on Friday.
Gillian: Thank you.
Transcript appears courtesy of Daily Show with Jon Stewart.